4 months!

I can't believe it. My little man is 4 months old. Have 4 months really gone by already? I guess that makes Law school go by faster. We only have 15 months left of Law school....then no more school, ever? So weird. Anyway, I have to admit...the first 3 months of Connor's life were pretty hard. He was not an easy baby the way the girls were. He ate every 2 hours. 8, 10, 12, 2, 4, 6, 8, 10, then he thankfully slept 6-8 hours every night. I think if he hadn't, I would have gone crazy. And it wasn't just the every 2 hours....he spit-up a lot. He cried a lot. He had to be held constantly. If I set him down, he would be happy for maybe 5 minutes. If he were my only child, I could probably handle it. But...I have a 4 story house and 2 other children to take care of, along with cooking meals and whatever the daily routine consists of. I had to learn to do everything with one hand, basically. And then he stopped sleeping through the night- waking up every 2-4 hours...so I was sleep-deprived too. I feel like we are always supposed to praise our kids and talk about how perfect and wonderful and easy they are. And it's too taboo to talk about the hard times, or that I should just be grateful that I have kids...Well, if you don't like this post, then don't comment. Those 3 months were not easy.

One of the many things that helped me get through it all, though, was his amazing smile. After just a few weeks he was smiling. And if he wasn't crying, he was smiling. Every time he would smile, it would melt my heart and I would forget about how exhausted I was.

But NOW....he is a completely new person. And so am I. He still eats every 2-2 1/2 hours, but he is happy so much more, and he knows how to roll over so he loves to be on the ground! And he loves interacting with his sisters! And he smiles and laughs even more! It is so wonderful! I feel like I can breathe now. And he is starting to sleep longer in the night, and take longer naps. And, I have gotten used to doing life with 3 kids. I really feel like a new person. What a relief. I really am so grateful for him, and for my sweet patient girls. The Lord definitely knows us and what we can handle, and he knew what order to send down my children. Hallee is an amazing big sister. She helps Maddie with so many things, and she drops everything she's doing if I ask her to do something for me. And Maddie is our entertainer and sensitive one. She is always willing to share with Hallee if she knows it's helping us out. She is so silly and so funny. Those girls are inseparable, and I am so grateful for that. They are the best big sisters a little boy could have, too.

Anyway, this is mostly for journaling purposes...I love my family and I am just glad the newborn stage is done with Connor. He is my sweet little boy, and yes, I am so grateful for him!